Divine Mother and my journey towards her ... Part 1

How can you be a better person ? What does it take to make your life better ? Where can you find happiness ? Why is there so much of pain and suffering in life ? Who are the people that matter to you ? When is the right time to do things ? ...

These and many more such questions haunted me for a long-time now. I have read books, articles, discussed  with people, argued with myself fervently in-order to find the right answers, but met with little luck. Many weeks ago, sitting in my mother-in-law's house, I was watching a television program where a learned person was delivering a theological speech. Certain aspects of the program instigated a strange passion in me to understand the deeper meaning of SELF and GOD. I stumbled across a unique perspective of life, in my quest for the deeper meaning of SELF and GOD. This perspective brought forth many answers that I have been searching for, so long. Here is an abstract of that unique perspective. I am writing this abstract in a hope that,  I will be able to read and bring myself back unto the path of knowledge and action , whenever I deter away from it, from time to time.

Having an agitated mind and heart was causing troubles in my day-to-day life. There was a very strong need to control my mind and heart. So, I initiated and pursued the technique of meditation to control my mind and heart,  through JAPA of GAYATHRI MANTHRA,

OM  BHUR BHUVA SWAHA - TAT SAR VITHUR VARENYAM - BHARGO DEVASYA DHIMAHI - DHYOYONAH  PRACHODAYATH OM

 I did not know the meaning of this mantra nor I had an understanding of what the implications were on reciting this mantra. I had read a book - 'Meditation and Its Practices' by Swami Adiswarananda (Minister and Spiritual Leader of the Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center of New York); where it was instructed that, to perform this technique of  control over mind and heart through JAPA of GAYATHRI MANTHRA,

• one has to maintain a pair of clean clothes, which he/she has to wash themselves regularly with their own hands, 
• one has to maintain a sacred place  in his/her house which he/she cleans every day (preferably, facing east or north direction or even north-east direction), 
• one has to wake up before the break of dawn, finish his/her daily activities, take a shower, put on the clean clothes he/she has set aside for this activity, place himself/herself on a raised seat in this sacred place of one's house, sit crossed legged, fold his/her hands in devotion and offer a prayer of gratitude to GOD for all that is provided to him/her,
• Light a lamp, and begin recital of the mantra for 108 times. During the time of recital,  he/she could open their eyes and gaze upon a form of SRI GAYATHRI DEVI or close their eyes and focus on a form of lotus flower , a lamp or a dot of light between their brows. The recital has to be maintained within one's self (with no sound emanating , not even the lips moving) where he/she becomes one with the stillness and calmness of the morning air physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
• This has to be performed 3 times a day, at the break of dawn, during mid-day and before dusk, for 21 days to make it effective. Also, if the practice of vegetarian meals (Satvic food), abstaining from intoxicants and any kind of abuse (verbal, physical and by any other means) can be imbibed during this period of 21 days, it makes the technique very potent and effective.

So I followed the instructions, with an exception of performing the recital 3 times a day, as I had work to attend to during the daytime, which made it not possible for such an adherence, nonetheless, I performed the recital equivalent to 3 times during the break of the dawn itself. 

At first, it was nothing but a mere mechanical way of reciting the manthra, with my mind away playing tricks and conjuring unnecessary thoughts. There was a restless feeling in the body, always on the lookout for time to finish the exercise and move away. My heart fluttered constantly with emotions, fear and conflict. Within a week's time, I could get a grip on the restlessness of the body, I began to have a rhythmic way of breathing, which held my body at ease; Within another week's time I could bring my mind to focus for the period of JAPA without any wavering thoughts. This soon followed, by a grip on emotions of the heart in the consequent week. Yet, the real sense of control was elusive.

I couldn't abandon the practice of this exercise, in-spite of not realising the results, as the body, mind and heart were so conditioned that it almost became reflexive in nature.  The latter days of  this practice brought with it an everlasting impact. Unfortunately, I have no education of the Sanskrit language, yet due to similarities prevalent between Sanskrit, Hindi and Telugu (my mother-tongue), there was a hazy understanding of the manthra I was reciting. This haziness dissipated and real meaning fortified within me, when one day during the time of ritual, there was a striking bright light in my mind behind my closed eyes, a voice echoed through, "I am the Universe; Everything between Heaven and Earth; I am the Supreme of all living things; The source of all life and knowledge; I am the one to whom everybody prays in faith and devotion; Submit yourself  and pray to me, for enlightenment."  Hence I submitted to the Divine Mother and prayed. This is the real sense of control that had been elusive to me all along, to submit to the Divine Mother and pray.